The Crazy Ones
by slaygirl190
Summary: SLASH. CM Punk digs crazy chicks and John Cena digs crazy guys, CM Punk in particular.


**The Crazy Ones**

_Disclaimer: I got my financial advisor to buy me a share of WWE stock so I now own 0.0022027402088197717% of the WWE. I doubt that includes any piece of Punk. I probably own a folding chair from 1992 Summerslam that's moldering in a warehouse somewhere._

John Cena watched the monitor in grim resignation as CM Punk took a crying AJ into his arms and started stroking her hair. John had never wanted to be a weeping mess of a girl so much in his life. His face fell further when Punk proclaimed that he dug crazy chicks. As much as John wished it was otherwise Punk's track record confirmed his statement. He had front row seats for the insanity that had been Maria, Lita and Beth Phoenix. Maria had taken the breakup hard after Punk left her behind in OVW and let anyone who would listen know exactly how Punk had broken her heart. It was years later and she still aired her complaints from time to time. Punk couldn't have picked a more toxic woman when he started dating Lita who brought with her the always screwy Hardy brothers. Then he moved on to Beth who honestly scared quite a few guys in the back. She had thrown a very loud hissy fit when Punk dared to speak to Lita when she showed up for the Slammy awards and then melodramatically immediately stopped following him on Twitter. She still glared daggers at Punk when they were within a few feet of one and other. John couldn't lay the blame completely at the door of Punk's exes because prolonged exposure to Punk's changeful nature could probably drive anyone a little nuts. Punk did indeed like his chicks crazy and John could only wish that Punk extended that statement to men as well because John was what could only be defined as crazy in love with Punk. John and Punk had built a friendship after the events that followed Money in the Bank. It was as close as he was ever going to get to Punk and he had to settle for the occasional pat on the back and brief grazes of skin when they sat next to each other in the monitor bay.

Punk walked past the monitor bay a few minutes later and John rose to follow him so to that he could appreciate the view from behind even though Punk was dressed in baggy shorts at the moment. John's mind had more than enough mental pictures of Punk's pert ass in his obscenely low riding trunks. John watched in confusion when Ziggler approached Punk from the opposite end of the hallway. He saw Punk and Ziggler's hands brush briefly and he could see the white square of paper that Ziggler had passed Punk. John had no idea what that was about but he knew he didn't like it in the slightest. Ziggler passed him with a self-satisfied grin. John was scheduled to meet Ziggler, Swagger and Tensai in a handicap match with Sheamus as his partner at the end of Raw. He had finally found a reason to look forward to the lopsided match. He was going to wipe that smile of Ziggler's face. John continued down the hall to Punk's dressing room and knocked on the door. He could hear Punk's steps as he made his way to the door and opened it a crack. He saw that it was John and opened the door wider for him to enter the room. John watched as that suspicious piece of paper was shoved into Punk's bag. John desperately wanted to know the contents of that piece of paper but knew if he confronted Punk about it straight on he would not only get zero information but Punk would probably freeze him out for an extended period of time.

"So you seem to have acquired a new stalker," John said flatly.

"What can I say? I dig crazy chicks," Punk replied with a laughing grin.

"Yes, you just informed me and the entire WWE Universe of that fact. I think your fan mail is getting ready to become a lot more interesting. You may be classing AJ in the wrong group because she passed up crazy some time ago and has firmly placed herself in the psychotic camp."

"You may be right on that score but I can't help it if all that I attract are the crazy ones. I'd like to date someone nice but I don't seem to be their type and if I started dating the nice ones who would be left for you?"

"Have you ever seen me with one of those so-called nice girls on my arm?" John said, hoping that might be enough to pique Punk's curiosity but Punk was oblivious to what John was hinting at.

"No, actually. Why is that? You are John Cena after all."

"Meaning…"

"You know what I mean."

"Actually I don't."

"Meaning I'm sure that you're the favorite pin up boy for most of the girls that watch WWE," Punk responded off-handedly. Punk wasn't calling John attractive outright but it was enough to cause John to grin, dimples popping.

"Maybe I'm waiting around for one of the crazy ones myself," John said, pinning Punk with a look that said he had already picked out the only crazy person he wanted to be with but Punk's obliviousness to John's hints continued.

"Is that a kink John-boy? Do you want me to pass AJ on to you?"

"No thanks, I said crazy not completely mental."

"Don't you have somewhere to be, like, I don't know, your match?"

"Yeah I do. You busy after the show?"

"Sorry, I have a previous commitment."

"You're going to leave me to watch reruns of Law & Order all by myself?"

"You're on your own tonight."

"My loss then. I have a match to get to, see you later," and John left Punk's locker room, the door closing behind him. John leaned against the wall a few feet from Punk's door and sucked in a few deep breaths. Any time spent with Punk always left him in a semi-aroused state. He calmed himself down and made his way to the arena entrance. He had no idea what was in that note that Ziggler had passed Punk but he was going to make Ziggler pay for his familiarity with Punk in the ring.

* * *

John indeed found himself alone in his hotel room watching Law & Order reruns. Whatever city or hotel they were in that show in all its reincarnations was always a constant. John was a few hours into a marathon when he heard intermittent low moans coming from the room next door which John knew belonged to Punk. He flipped onto his stomach and held a pillow over his head; he couldn't bear to listen to the evidence of someone else getting from Punk what he wanted so badly. Eventually the sounds quieted down and John heard Punk's door open and close. John hurried to his door and opened it a crack and stuck his head into the hallway. John narrowed his eyes as Ziggler turned around to face him. His hair was a mess and he had the tell-tale red abrasions on his cheeks of someone who had been kissed thoroughly by someone with facial hair. John gave Ziggler one last glare and kicked his door closed, sliding down the door until he was seated with his legs tucked into his chest and his head buried in his hands. It seemed that in addition to digging crazy chicks Punk also extended his preference to bottle blondes with severe narcissism issues. It was the fact that Ziggler was in no way a woman that angered him. John didn't know what hurt more, that Punk was bi and had not told him or that it wasn't him that Punk was marking as his. John could feel the phantom tingling on his face that Punk's kisses would leave behind. He had never wanted someone so much and he had to find a way to get Punk.

* * *

John had been up half the night after the events of the previous evening. He laid in the dark and considered just knocking on Punk's door who he knew would be up due to his rampant insomnia and demand the truth out of Punk. While it was true that he and Punk were friends, Punk kept his thoughts and feelings close to his chest and a secret like this wasn't just something Punk would drop into one of their casual conversations. John showered and dressed, making his way out to the parking lot. He came to his bus, Punk's parked right beside his with the back panel where the engine was located was open.

"Problems?" John asked a fuming Punk.

"It won't start and everyone else's car space is already spoken for."

"You could ride with me."

"You wouldn't mind?"

"It gets a little lonely being by myself sometimes. It'll be a nice change of pace."

"Cool. Let me just get my stuff."

John smiled to himself as Punk disappeared into his bus to gather his things. John would be able to confront Punk because he would have no means of escaping John unless he wanted to be left on the side of an interstate. Punk boarded John's bus and they set out for the next house show. They talked for a while about work and random inconsequential things until Punk laid down to take a short nap. John used that time to stare unabashedly at Punk's sleeping form and his mind couldn't help but fantasize about what it would be like to wake up next to Punk every morning in his bed. Punk woke up and they started playing cards. Although John knew the answers to the questions he was getting ready to ask Punk he was going to drag the truth out of Punk anyway.

"So…your previous commitment last night was sort of loud."

"What are you talking about," Punk asked with a look of alarm on his face.

"My room is next door to yours and I caught the beginning of Ziggler's walk of shame back to his hotel room. It's not very polite to just throw someone out of your room when you've had your way with them," John stated, even though in this current hellish subject of Ziggler and Punk's relationship, whatever it was, John was glad that Ziggler had been kicked out and not invited to stay the night.

"John, I…"

"You what, Punk?"

"Can I talk to you about this?"

"Why wouldn't you be able to?"

"Some people are kind of touchy about people's sexual orientation."

"I'm not one of them. So are you bi?"

"I really don't know. I can recognize that a guy is hot and not get all freaked out by it and I have had...feelings...for certain men before. Ziggler is the first guy I've ever been with like that. I've never experimented before and Ziggler was offering pretty obviously. As far as a subject for experimentation I could do a lot worse than him."

"You could do a lot better than Ziggler."

"He was the only one offering."

"You really are oblivious aren't you? Ziggler is most definitely not the only person that's offering. You're eye candy and your ring gear is totally scandalous. I don't think some of the guys in the back are panting over you because of your technical wrestling ability."

"Eye candy, huh?"

"I'm not blind you know. So are you sleeping with him?"

"No! Just making out. He wants more but I'm not so easy to give it up to someone that I can barely tolerate most of the time. It's not that I wouldn't, just not with him. You seem awfully easy-going about this whole thing."

"Let's hope so."

"What do you mean?"

"Punk, there's something you should know."

"And that is...?"

"I'm gay."

"What!"

"Like you said last night, you don't see me with girls and its because I have no interest in them."

"Are you…seeing someone?"

"No, but I have had my eye on someone for a while now. The chemistry is there, they just aren't interested in me that way."

"Are they crazy?"

"As a matter of fact they are and they're also completely blind," and John pinned Punk with a stare, hoping that Punk finally got the message. He could see the thoughts running through Punk's head by his expressions and could tell when Punk finally understood what he was getting at.

"John...I…"

"I don't want your apologies; I can see what you're getting ready to say all over your face. I need to lie down for a while," and John walked to the bedroom in the back of his bus, shutting the door behind him firmly. He couldn't bear to be rejected by Punk outright. He would just hold up in his bedroom until they got to their destination and accept a life with no Punk in it because he would probably never speak to him again with John's unreturned feelings lying between them. He had finally put himself out there only to increase the gulf between them, not draw them closer together. John drew the curtains and lay in the dark, holding back tears at his feelings being completely dismissed by Punk. He had no idea how long he laid there when he heard the door to the bedroom open. He was positive that Punk would just avoid him until he was free of being stuck in John's bus with him but Punk seemed to be working against his usual nature and it didn't seem like he was going to let this go. He turned on his side away from the door and braced himself for Punk's rejection. He felt the bed sink behind him as Punk sat down next to him.

"John, I didn't know…"

"I think that was completely obvious by the horrified look on your face."

"I wasn't horrified, just surprised."

"Now that we've got that cleared up could you just leave me alone?"

"I don't want to leave you alone."

"What…" but John couldn't finish his sentence because Punk turned him on his back and pressed his lips to John's lightly. John let himself revel in finally having Punk kiss him for a moment before turning his head away. "I don't want your pity kisses."

"It's not pity…"

"And I certainly don't want to be your next experiment like Ziggler…" John took in a shuddering breath when Punk lay down behind him and wrapped an arm around his waist. His body reacted to Punk's closeness even though his mind was rebelling against letting Punk touch him in ways he would never get to experience again.

"Punk, please, stop."

"I don't want to stop," Punk said, beginning to press soft kisses on the back of his neck.

Punk's actions shattered his resolve and John rolled over halfway on top of Punk, kissing him demandingly, wanting to get a taste of Punk before he was pushed away. Punk didn't push him away though; he opened his mouth wider so that John could fully explore Punk's mouth, their tongues curling together. John began to pull back when Punk held his head firmly in place, fusing their mouths together. Punk wrapped his legs around John; bringing their groins into contact…Punk was hard. John let himself roll his hips against Punk's for a few moments, relishing the sensation before forcing Punk's legs from around his waist and rolling to the side. Punk wasn't having it though. Punk straddled him, pulling off his own shirt and tried to pull John's off without his cooperation.

"I want to touch you John, let me touch you. I want to feel your skin against mine. Every time Ziggler kissed me I was kissing you, it was your hands that were touching me, not his. If I had known that you wanted me I would have never let him near me. I don't need to label what we are, I just want you."

Punk's words were enough to incite John into action, sitting up and letting Punk tug his shirt over his head. He gripped Punk's hips tightly, guiding Punk to grind against him before decreasing the pressure on Punk's hips and letting Punk take what he wanted from him. Punk continued to roll his hips against John, their erections rubbing against each other through layers of clothes. Punk pressed his lips to John's again; kissing him feverishly while his hands explored John's bare chest and abs. Punk broke the kiss and moved John's hands from his clothed hips to his bare chest.

"Touch me," Punk whispered against John's lips. "I want you to put your hands on me."

John took Punk's direction and smoothed his hands slowly over Punk's soft skin, making sure to run his hands over every piece of skin he could reach. Punk was breathing heavy but John's breath stuck in his throat when Punk slid his hands down John's body to briefly dip his fingers under the waistband of his shorts. Punk sat up on his knees and tried to slide John's shorts off him.

"Punk wait…this is all new to you…you're not ready…"

"Shouldn't I be the judge of what I'm ready for? I've wanted this for so long I'm beyond ready. I just want to feel you in my hand…I want to watch you come because of me. Let me have my way, please."

John responded by lifting his hips and Punk pulled his shorts down and tossed them over his shoulder. He wrapped his hand around John's cock but his hand didn't move.

"Punk, you don't have to do this, we can stop right now."

"I don't want to stop, this is just so different than what I'm used to."

"Good, I like that you've never touched anyone like this, and I'm certainly not one of your crazy chicks. Here, let me help you," and John wrapped his hand around Punk's, moving it up and down his shaft, showing Punk exactly what he liked and Punk was a very quick study. John's stilled Punk's hand.

"We can make this better, if you want to try…"

"Tell me what to do."

"Take your shorts off."

Punk pulled off the remainder of his clothes and John pulled Punk back into his lap. Punk watched heatedly as John licked his palm and reached down to wrap his hand around both of their hard cocks. Punk instinctively started to roll his hips, their erections sliding against each other while John's hand stroked them both. John looked down to see his and Punk's cock sliding through his fist. The sight incited John to grab Punk's hair and bring Punk's mouth to his, kissing him desperately. Punk was moaning louder now, forcing out hitching breaths and murmured words.

"John, fuck, this is so fucking good. I've got to come. Make me come John, please."

John began to stroke them quickly. He could feel the heat began to pool in his belly, his muscles contracting. They was no way he was going to be able to hold back his orgasm, not with a writhing Punk in his lap. He came when Punk bit down on the tendon connecting his neck to his shoulder and John could feel Punk's come coating his hand. John followed Punk over the edge seconds later. Punk didn't move from John's lap, just laid his head on John's shoulder, until his breath slowed. Punk lifted his head to press a sweet kiss to John's lips.

"If I had any idea it was going to be that good I would have given up women and threw myself at you long ago. Are you sure you want to be with me? I'm kind of…"

"What? Crazy? I guess it's a good thing that I dig crazy guys."

_AN: I know this isn't the story you wanted but I needed a little something to ease my way back into writing and since my series is going to end before we get to the current AJ mess I couldn't let this crazy chick stuff pass without comment. This fic is dedicated to Kendra1994 who checked to see if I was still alive and that both reminded and inspired me to get to writing again. I promise I'll try to get to work on the as yet unnamed final installment of the Summer of Punk series._


End file.
